


Nevermind the Games

by OutlandishWhalesharks



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Cheesy Rom Com, Denial of Feelings, F/M, John does not like having feelings, Mutual Pining, New Years Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 22:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17232044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutlandishWhalesharks/pseuds/OutlandishWhalesharks
Summary: John Seed and Deputy Asha Kakkar get stranded at a fancy hotel for New Year's Eve neither are happy with the turn of events.





	Nevermind the Games

**Author's Note:**

> So funny thing about this fic, it started out as a short fic for Wrapping Paper Trash. However my Sloth got the best of me and when Christmas passed I decided to make it set at New Years but still keep it in the collection.
> 
> Then in true John Seed fashion it decided to just get extra and just go and on and on. And of course my deputy, not being one to be outdone by the likes of John, decided she to stop being a generic deputy and became a full blown oc (face claim for Asha is Jameela Jamil btw). Anyways this whole thing just got out of hand and needed to be its own thing. I hope you enjoy it. (:
> 
> Title from Cowards by Raleigh Ritchie.

Nevermind The Games (John/Rook)

John Seed looked out the windshield into pure white, the wipers making little difference against the downpour of snow and ice. He could feel the nervous energy of the woman next him and could not help but be completely terrified. His hand gripped the handle over the passenger door and matched her white knuckles against the steering wheel.

"Deputy there's a hotel coming up we should really sto-"

"No! We can make it, the turn off to Hope County isn't too far." Her voice is tense and her eyes don't move from the white of the road ahead.

He sighs at her stubbornness. "Look I know the last thing you want is to spend New Years with me," she huffs at that, he continues before she can say anything "But don't you think it would be worse to die with no one but me by your side?" 

Under any normal circumstances that would be a bit dramatic, but the tires of the Sheriff Department’s 4x4 has already slipped multiple times and the storm just seems to be getting worse.

She finally looks over at him, which just terrifies him more. Even in perfect conditions the woman is a terrible driver, yeah he’d much more prefer she keep her eye on the road. 

"Nice try John, I'm sure you want nothing more than to have me stranded with you tonight when the ball drops. Not happening." 

Despite what she's thinking, it's the last thing he wants. The whole day had been torture. Of course she insisted in driving, even though he offered to drive himself. He told her he had things to take care of in the city, but no she insisted on driving them both to court and complained while she shadowed him on his other errands. Of course now she would think he did it all as some elaborate scheme to spend time with her.

She was outright infuriating. Not just because she was a pain in his ass, which she definitely was, but for the way she dug into his skin. For the way she’s never too far from his mind. The woman next to him causes him to feel things no one else has, he absolutely hates it. 

No Deputy Asha Kakkar definitely wasn’t his type. Normally he preferred petite women with fake tits, who spent hours in front of the mirror, were not very smart, and much more interested in sex and drugs than anything else. The deputy was the same height as he was, lanky, clumsy, a giant dork who snorted when she laughed and her fashion sense was non-existent. 

Yet he looked forward to seeing her everyday. Her big brown eyes and thick silken hair captivated him and yeah her toned body was sexy as hell the rare times she wore form fitting clothes. Her confidence and intelligence were compelling, she was one of the only few people who could actually hold a debate with him. She challenged him, and for some bizarre reason he enjoyed it, enjoyed her.

Sure originally he was merely looking for another conquest, and became intrigued the more she turned him down. That all changed when he started working with her, the way she teased him or laughed under her breath at his jokes it stirred long forgotten feeling with in him and left him uneasy.

There was also the way he would catch her looking at her sometimes. Not just the looks that were purely primal and shot straight to his dick. Those were hot, but the ones that really got him-that stuck with him-were softer, like she could see his soul and even more impressive she wasn't disgusted by what she saw.

Those looks and moments he shared with her were wonderful, so of course he found ways to fuck it up. He’d make lewd comments or suggestions, ignore her when she talked to him, but usually he was just cruel to her. Those instances made him hate himself that much more than he already had, but that was something he knew and was comfortable with. Yeah the self hate was safer than whatever feelings he had for her. 

The next moment all thoughts are dropped as the vehicle spins out of control. Luckily they are passing an exit and Asha is able to take the car down that road. Their luck runs out as they end up running into a tree before she gain back control.

They sit there for a few moments catching their breaths. After a quick check to make sure they are both alright, she unbuckles and jumps into the back. She grabs some emergency items (snow shoes, their coats, flashlights etcetera) and throws some to John.

When all he does is stare at her she finally says "We turned down the exit for that hotel, and slid quite a ways down, it can't be too far and I am NOT gonna freeze to death in this car with YOU." 

Going into the blizzard sounded like an even worse idea, but he knew she wouldn't listen to him and like hell if he'd let her go alone. The idea of her ending up dead in the snow made his blood turn cold.

"Oh NOW you're concerned about dying!" Even though he was concerned for her, the woman is still so infuriating. He unbuckles and takes the gear she hands over.

She only rolls her eyes at him in frustration then opens the car door and is lost to the blizzard. 

After fifteen minutes of walking into what feels like an ice wall they finally make it to the front steps of the large upscale hotel.

Shit, he knew where they were, he had frequented the place many times as John Duncan. A swanky high end hotel outside of Missoula, where he would wine and dine clients. It was why he knew about and suggested the Hope County area when he and his brothers moved out her. He knew they would be going by it as they had to take the back way to Hope County form Missoula, but he didn't realize they were this close. 

The woman next to him was definitely not going to like this. Decadence and opulence were definitely not her style. Still they dragged their frozen legs up the front steps and into the warm, welcoming lobby.

***

Once Rook has thawed some from the blizzard outside she is able to take in the grandness of the hotel lobby. There is a beautiful ornate fireplace with a giant Christmas tree, neatly decorated in silver and gold. The rest of the hotel has the same decor. She shakes her head at the grandness of it all, she cant believe that people live like this!

John walks up to the counter, the freezing weather seemingly having no effect on his swagger and confident gait. The only proof that he had been walking in a blizzard was the snow and ice on his pants and slight redness of his nose. His demeanor though was as if he just came out of a business meeting. The man’s ability to always seem so put together has always bothered her and tended to make her feel inadequate.

He’s asked her out plenty of times, and she’s turned him down. While she can’t say she has no interest in him (a girl would be crazy to not be interested in everything he had to offer: sexy, successful, confident, fit, etcetera etcetera) but John Seed also had a lot of bad traits he was the slut of Hope County, had dated Mary May and Joey at the same time for weeks before either of them even found out. With both women being her close friends, he was completely off limits. Besides she wasn’t so naive to think that things would be any different with her. No she met men like John Seed before and knew better than to think she could change him. No she won’t fall for his bullshit. 

The man was definitely interesting though, even if he was a giant asshole most of the time. Occasionally he could be kind and funny. At first he was just the jerk who cheated on her friends and hit on her constantly, then he started working with more closely with the Sheriff’s Department as District Attorney, a part of his deal with the state to go easy on him and his family after nearly starting a Militant Doomsday Cult. Luckily Whitehorse, along with a still pissed Joey, swept in to quickly put an end to it before things got violent.

Now they were all forced to spend more time with the youngest Seed. Which is why they’re in this predicament in the first place. She had to accompany him for a court case as she was the arresting officer. It was fascinating to watch him work, especially when the judge and opposing attorney took one look at his inked hands and assumed he had no idea what he was doing. She couldn't help but snicker at the defending lawyers face when he walked circles around them, and while she’d never admit it out loud, it was down right hot to watch him work his magic.

After a moment she realizes she's essentially just standing there staring at his ass and walks over to the counter getting her credit card out to pay for a room.

“Mr. Duncan, we weren't expecting you tonight!” the desk attendant says with a wide smile. She can't say she's surprised that they know him by name at a place like this. That is so John.

“It’s Seed now, and yes I know, we had an accident and I’m afraid we’ll need a room for the night. Any chance there’s availability?”

”Um yes, sorry about that Mr. Seed, it does looks like you’re in luck. There's been an emergency cancellation and one of our Ruby Suites is available.”

“I assume that's the only room available?” he asks with his eyes shifting over to her. The place can't be that crowded, can it?

“Yes sir, it is New Years Eve,” the clerk turns to Rook “Its our busiest time of the year, we have a huge party.” 

Rook just nods “Thats okay Im sure the suite has more than one bed?”

John just shakes his head with smirk on his lips as the clerk says. “Ummm no no actually this suite is made for couples, there is a loveseat and jacuzzi bathtub for two.” 

Rooks mouth gapes open, her arms cross over her chest and her head shakes vigorously “Nope nope nope.”

“What are you gonna do darling? Go sleep in the car? Or in the stables with the horses?”

“The horses would be better company.” She says childishly, and of course this place had horses. She hates it that much more, she never understood what was so wrong with your simple roadside motel. 

Now John crosses his arms like a father dealing with a petulant child. “Stop it. We’re both professionals, despite this conversation. I think we can share a bed for the night.”

She throws her hands in the air and huffs “Your paying for it.”

“Obviously.” He says under his breath, then apologizes to the clerk and hands over his black credit card as she puts hers away. The jerks rich he can pay.

“Thank you sir. Just one more thing, the events tonight are formal.” The clerk bites her lip uncomfortably, looking at their outfits both wet from melting snow. She spends an extra second on her Deputy’s uniform.” We do have a small gift shop that you could purchase some... more suitable clothing.”

“Of course darling thank you.” John says with his personable smile in place. Really they have to buy new clothes for this!?!?!

In the shop she begins to peruse, her eyes bulging at the price tags on a decorative mug, she can’t even imagine how much a formal dress will be. John simply walks to the back of the room where the dresses and suits are, beckoning a clerk with just a look. 

She follows as well, eyeing a sleek red dress with a slit up the leg and a sweetheart neckline. The man next to her points at a nice thin black tuxedo then walks over to the dresses looking at them discerningly before grabbing the red dress and saying “This too.”

Damn him for picking the dress she liked best, still she cant not speak up, its against her nature “Um what do you think your doing? I can buy my own dress.”

John just sighs in exasperation. “Deputy this yellow monstrocity” he points to a dress that, while sure looks more like a sequined mumu than a formal dress, doesn't look too bad at least it would be comfortable, “Is the most inexpensive option and its $900 do you really want to insist on this?” His eyebrow rising and posture stiffening readying for an argument that he would no doubt win.

When he sees her eye the mumu his face contort in horror “Don’t you dare!!” 

Holding up her hands in defeat she says “Fine, I’m picking the shoes though.”

“Fine.”

She decides on a pair of black stilettos, she’ll have a helluva time walking in them, but seeing as they are the same height the extra inches will make her taller than John and oh he will hate that so much. She smiles just thinking about it.

The shoes are as much as the yellow dress and the fact that John doesn't do much more than bat an eyelash at the price just pisses her off further. Her wildest fantasies don't see her with that much money.

He goes to finalize the purchase and says “Oh please add his and hers toiletries and pajamas as well.”

She’s still not happy but at least he remembered the essentials.

When they get to the room she gapes at the decadence. A four poster bed and a small love seat sit on one side, a wet bar, chest of drawers, antique desk and mirror are on the other side. In front of the love seat is a table with a chess board on it with crystal pieces. She felt like a bull in a china shop certain if she stepped the wrong way she would break every item in this room. 

“I bet you planned this whole thing.” Seriously all that money and there's not another piece of furniture to sleep on?

Walking over to the chess set he says “As much as I appreciate that you think I can control the weather sweetheart, a las I am sad to say I don’t harness that sort of power. My brother is the one who talks to God after all.” A small grin gracing his face, as one of his hands gently plays with a chess piece. 

Lost in watching his dexterous hands at work she doesn't say anything until he stops, coughs and looks at her. She blushes, looks down then says “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Once out of the shower she puts on the robe that was in the bathroom, then dries her hair. When she comes out, he doesn’t have a shirt on and she finds herself staring again. “Seriously and your trying to tell me this wasn’t some sort masterplan to get me to sleep with you?” She laughs out loud a snort escaping as she walks over to the desk. She’s long gotten over her embarrassment of snorting. 

He looks at her condescendingly “I’m just getting ready, besides let me remind you that I wanted to drive myself to the hearing today but YOU insisted on driving said ‘you didn’t mind stopping for my little errand.’ His voice a mocking falsetto.

Yeah his errand. She’s still half convinced that him bringing a couple of giant turkeys, other groceries and gifts to the Missoula Orphanage was just another attempt to get her to bed. Even though he seemed to know all the kids by name, and wore a genuine look of happiness on his face while there. 

She glares then sticks her tongue at him.

In front of the mirror she inspects toiletry bag happy to find a small amount of makeup including that the lone tube of lipstick is a lovely shade that pairs with her dress well. While the deputy has never been a big fan of make-up in general, she has always liked lipstick. 

“Look can you just accept that this isn’t what either of us want? But we can at least try to have a good time, it is New Years Eve. And if my company really is that bad, there will be plenty of high-end champagne downstairs to make the night more endurable.” John says in the doorway of the washroom, his shirt still missing.  
.  
“Oh I bet you’d just love for me to get shit faced tonight”

His mouth quirks up but he only shakes his head at her and walks in the other room to shower.

By the time he finishes (and damn can the man primp!) she’s finished her makeup, curled her hair and has put on her dress. Though the zipper in the back is causing her problems as she tries to move her arm in an unbendable direction causing her to make a less than attractive face. This is of course when John decides to walk out of the bathroom. The tux he chose is perfect, causing him to look like a bearded and tattooed James Bond. 

He’s trying to put on his cufflinks and almost walks into her. Taking in her odd stance he asks “Do you need help with that?” 

“Uhh yes.” There's no point in arguing or denying it and simply turns around and pulls her hair out of the way.

Their facing the mirror again when she looks up at him through it he’s not looking at her and seems too focused on her back. She can feel his hot breath on her neck as he pulls the zipper up sending shivers down her spine. Finally he looks up at her but doesnt let go of her dress. At first he looks lustful, but it quickly turns into something else, something more meaningful. His stare causes her to blush and her hands to sweat.

That right there. That is what she hates so fucking much about John Seed. The pretentious playboy she can handle. Even watching him decimate the defense in court, or seeing him take New Years dinner to an orphanage might be attractive but she can handle and ignore. No more than anything it's that look. At first he just hit on her relentlessly, but then things slowly changed and more often he looked at her like that, then would storm off, avoid her or say something mean and uncalled for. Why would he do that? He cant have real feelings for, she doesn't think he's capable of it. 

Oh but if he was? She's had both day and sleeping dreams that revolved around that idea. But that was just fantasy. Right? When he looks at her like that she’s not so sure. 

After a long moment of just staring at each other, neither of them know how to interpret it. John finally breaks the stare with a cough and starts to move. Rook also looks down and decides to put all her efforts into putting her shoes on. 

The satisfaction of watching him scowl up at her and the now obvious height difference is short lived as she has forgotten not only how much she hates heels but also how bad she is at walking in them. The latter fact was put on full display as she walked to the door only to stumble, if not for John’s quick and steadying hands she would have hit the ground.

The welp that leaves her mouth when he grabs her would be embarrassing if the rest of it wasn’t even worse. She expects him to let go once she has her footing again but he doesn't, not even after she starts to walk away from him. Instead he walks forward with her, his hands holding firm on her hips and moving them from side to side. “Switch your hips,” his voice is low and gravelly sending another shiver down her spine. Then of course he goes back to being a typical asshole “Maybe you won't fall on your ass that way.” He says with a smirk as he quickly lets go of her, causing her to stumble as she hadn't even realized she was leaning into him.

“Fuck you.” she says with a glare though she’s actually thankful that he did it, things were getting much to...complicated. She needed to be reminded of who he really was.

They make it downstairs to the party, there's a little dancing but most people are just clumped up talking while waiters pass out horderves. Despite what she said earlier Asha beelines for the bar. There's no way shes getting through this without a drink. 

John follows her, orders a scotch after she gets herself a glass of wine. They idly walk around the room a very obvious awkwardness between them. 

Finally John offers, “Do you want to dance?”

“Oh, no I don’t dance, believe me you don’t want to see.”

“Hmm I don’t know, that could be quite entertaining.” He smiles, his eyes lighting just a bit.

“You say that now, but you won't be when I step on your feet” she says teasingly

“John Duncan is that you??” They’re cut off by a shrill female voice. The owner, a skinny bleached blond woman with too much makeup, and giant fake boobs. Which just makes no sense, her natural C cups were enough of a pain in the ass she cant imagine choosing to make them even bigger. 

Even so Rook finds herself standing taller and glaring at the woman, which really? All over John Seed? Seriously?

“Ah Jen, nice to see you.” Though if she’s any judge he’s lying. “You look good.” His eyes linger a little too long on her breasts causing the jealousy to skyrocket.

Rook clears her throat and the small woman somehow finds a way to look down on her though she’s physically looking up at her. “Right Asha this is Jennifer, she’s an...old friend.” They both smile conspiratorially making it obvious just what kind of “friends” they are.

“And Jen this is my colleague Deputy Kakkar.”

The other woman’s demeanor becomes even more flirtatious at that, with it being perfectly clear that John and Asha are not intimate with each other. Which just makes her more upset.

And really it shouldn’t bother her that he calls her his colleague, that’s what they are, yet the other woman's smirk and the way she eye fucks the lawyer sends a pang of jealousy straight to her core, when she has no right to do so. 

Hating the feeling of inadequacy, feeling like an awkward, out of place teenager again and really fuck them both for making her feel this way. Needing an escape from this situation, she downs her wine then walks away from the two to get another drink and find their table. She hates how relieved she is when John finds her not much more than a couple minutes later.

Dinner is actually a lot of fun. The food is delicious and she finds herself surprisingly enjoying John’s company. They talk about his time in Atlanta, other swanky events he’s been too, her life growing up first generation Indian in Jersey City, and so many other things. More than once she has to remind herself that she’s not on a date. 

“So what you just quit your fellowship at John Hopkins to become a Sheriff's Deputy in the middle of nowhere?” John asks incredulously as she explains some of her past.

The Deputy just shrugs, “Being a doctor was never me, I only did it for my parents. I like simplicity and aside from the the few bad apples” she pointedly stares at John “Hope County is simple. Man you should of heard my dad’s voice when I told him I had moved into Moonflower Trailer Park. I swear only dogs could hear the things he was yelling at me.” She laughs.

Johns eyes widen “I don't blame him, I still can't believe you live there.” He shakes his head. The idea that her father would approve of the man sitting across her, leaves an uneasy feeling with in her.

“Hey it's not so bad, as the sole occupant Sharky lets me do whatever I want, besides I have my trailer decorated quite nicely, you should stop by some time and check it out.” It’s meant more as joke, like John’s boojie ass would step one foot in a trailer park, let alone one owned and operated by Sharky Boshaw. 

Still the invite to her home hangs heavy between them bringing that awkwardness from earlier back.

People start dancing, though Rook still refuses and excuses herself to the restroom, though it's more just an excuse to escape the awkward.

She changes her mind on dancing when she comes back to the party to see Jennifer from earlier not only talking to John but sitting on his lap. The amount of wine she’s had combined with the sight of his hand on some other woman's hip causes her to become possessed with jealousy. Possesed, that's really the only word for it. 

She stomps up to them, her shoes making loud noises against the marble floor, if she could think clearly she would be afraid of breaking the thin heels. In response to his raised eyebrows and shocked expression she just grabs his wrist forcing Jennifer off his lap “Come on Seed let’s dance.”

Of course the minute they get on the dance floor a slow song comes on and John already has one hand on her back the other grabs her hand making it impossible to flee. Not that she really could anyway, this whole thing was her idea.

At her look of uncertainty on her face he simply smiles kindly and says “This might be extremely hard for you to do, but honey I promise if you just follow me not only will you not step on my feet but we’ll both look great.”

“Why would that be hard for me?” She says with a hint of snark.

He only stares at her then guides her in a waltz across the dance floor. After a few moments of simply moving he asks “Soooo” he strings out the word letting his Southern twang come out emphasize his point “you want to tell me what that was all about?”

“What?” she looks at him with fake look of innocence. 

He scoffs “Nice try Deputy. You realize my entire career is based off of reading people and you were pissed just now. Someone jealous?” The cocky smile on his lips makes her want to slap him.

She counters with low chuckle “Honey” she repeats his early word with same sacrenly sweet tone “if I got jealous over YOU I’d never get anything done, what with the string of women you carry around.”

His face falls for a moment but then goes back to a wolfish smile “I suppose your right. I guess you won't mind if I spend the night with Jen then?” His voice is innocent but the glint in his eyes shows he knows what he’s doing.

The thing is? It works. She should say ‘yeah go ahead’, or make a snarky comment about not having to share a bed with him. Instead though all she can do is bunch her fists against him as her eyes bug out and her nostrils flair.

“Yeah that's what I thought.” He says into her ear, his hand swoops down to pat her ass for the briefest of moments. Before she can react he spins her out then back into him ending with a dip as the song ends and everyone claps, she hadn't noticed that people had started watching them.

The crowds excited and with the countdown to the new year the feeling only grows as everyone begins to countdown. She didn't even know it was so close to midnight, somehow her time with John has just blown by.

“4!..3!..2!..1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”

Rook turns to John with a smile on her face ready to wish him a happy new year but she is abruptly stopped when she sees his face, its hungry. They stare for a moment then both lean in and kiss. 

The moment their lips meet she forgets about everyone else in the room. One hand runs through her hair to cradle her head the other finds her ass and squeezes, hard. She moans into his mouth while his tongue meets her. Her own hands are exploring his back and neck trying to touch every part of him. 

They finally break the kiss when someone nudges him in the back. Everything comes rushing back to her making her cheeks heat and eyes widen with horror. He tries to say something but someone comes up to him and she uses the chance to bail. 

Back in the room she changes into the silk button up pajamas and paces, trying to sort her feelings while reminding herself of all the reasons she should not sleep with him. Finally she forces herself to play a solo game of chess just to keep occupied.

Nearly an hour passes before he comes up, she tries not to be upset that he didn't chase after her.

The door opens and once he see her he comes in, shuts the door, then leans against it just staring at her for awhile. She stares back “Took you long enough.” she says finally.

“Yeah well I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come up here at all.” He says in an odd moment of vulnerability. She has to fight herself tooth and nail to rush up and comfort him. 

When her inner turmoil causes her not to say anything, he hangs his head then walks towards the closet while unbuttoning his shirt. 

She should really look away instead she just watches as he takes off his jacket, tie, shirt and pants so that he is only wearing a pair of tight black boxer briefs wich show off a rather large bulge. He pauses like that for a moment to look at her and smile, satisfied that she’s watching with eager eyes. 

“Wanna play?” He says with a smirk.

“Uh what?” she nearly knocks over the table in front of her.

Her comment gains another smirk “Chess. Wanna play? I doubt you can beat me.”

Yeah that cocky comment is more than enough to get her competitive side going, judging by his smile she suspects that was his aim. When she agrees he finally puts his pajamas pants.

Walking over to the table he throws on the top but doesn’t button it. She cant help but think they must look like quite the couple in their matching pjs. 

As he sits down her eyes are drawn to his tattoos and scars. They mesmerize her and she cant help but want to trace them all with her tongue. She shakes her head of those thoughts and helps him set the game. 

They play a while in silence, both taking time to fully think through their plays. 

After a while though Rook decides to break it “Can I…” she pauses to look him in the eye “Can I ask you a personal question?”

He makes his move taking one of her pawns. Dammit. “Go ahead.” he says with a quick, curious look and a flick of his hand.

“I imagine your life in Atlanta was something like all this, and it seems to fit you so well. Why would you leave it all, your career just to come to Montana?” The words lie heavy around them and she looks away from him using her turn as an excuse.

“My brothers. They’re the only people in my entire life who ever loved me unconditionally. I felt I owed them and Joseph especially everything in return, so I gave him all I could.” The long off stare on his face makes her believe his words.

“Besides all this is way overrated, but I’m sure you know that already.” he says trying to lighten the mood, it doesn't work.

A small melancholy smile is her reply as she sadly looks at him, then leans over to rest her hand on his. “You deserve to be loved John.” She suspects no one has told him that before. 

Long moments pass like that with her hand over his, her thumb absently rubbing circles into his hand. His eyes search hers for insincerity, she meets his eyes with a strong confidence.

Finally he looks away and lets out a heavy breath of air.

She’s expecting him to say something cruel or crude instead though he surprises her “Why is the idea of being with me so terrible?”

The question catches her off guard so she answers truthfully “It’s not terrible per se. I just don't want to be another notch in your belt. And I know you don't want to be my boyfriend.”

He’s quite a moment, in a tone so quiet she almost doesn't hear him “What if I did?”

She snorts in surprise and the sound shocks him out of the sincere look on his face.

“You don’t want to. I know this because you’ve slept with more than half the county. Really me turning you down is as much for your safety as it is for me. You saw me earlier I don’t share my men John, and the last boyfriend who cheated on me got sent to the ER. Though I still maintain that he ran into that knife.”

He just stares at her for a long moment those piercing blue eyes pin her to the spot with something she can’t quite interpret, it might be awe. “I suppose your right. But you can't deny there's something here.” He say swaying an arm between them.”

“No I suppose your right, but I think for you it's just a matter of wanting what you can’t have. The moment I give in, you will be over me like everyone else you've left behind.” She says matter of factly. 

He huffs at that in disagreement, which makes no sense to her. After another moment he says “What if we just got it out of system?”

 

Her eyebrow raises “I may of had a couple glasses of wine but I’m not that drunk.”

“Good, neither am I.” At her lack of reaction he adds “I’m serious. It’s obvious neither of us want to be attracted to each other, what if we use tonight to let that sexual tension play itself out and in the morning we act like nothing happened. There’s no reason for what transpires to go beyond these four walls.”

The words turn over in her mind. She cant say she hasn't thought of it, hell both Addie and Sharky have suggested the exact same thing, multiple times. Again she snorts, there's just one problem. “This coming from the guy who told half the county that Kim Rye was having his bastard? I hope you’ll forgive me if I say I don’t trust you to keep it secret” she says dismissively.

Another sigh, “That is certainly not something I am proud of, I like to think I was a different man then. But now you have my word that I won't tell a soul about what happens between us.” He holds out a hand to shake on it, his voice low and seductive. “Consider it attorney-client confidentiality.”

“I am not your client Seed.” She says as shakes his hand “but I’ll take you up on your deal. One night, we don't talk about it to ourselves or anyone else.”

Getting up she walks over to him and straddles his lap .His eyes widen like he wasn't expecting her to agree, but he quickly composes himself. “ Dep-yoo-ty,” he draws the word in that special way he does and leans in close to her ear “are you saying yes?” He gently nips at her ear his free hand running down her back to cup her ass.

Taking in a deep breath, she exhales the word looking him head on with hooded eyes “Yes.”

A fire lights in his eyes and he kisses her, hard. She lets go of his hand to run her hand through his hair, pulling gently happy to get a groan out of him from the action.

The stand up and make their way to the bed, making quick work of the pajamas they have on. Once naked she lays on the bed, but John just stands there staring at her. A look of hungry lust mixes with the same look she thought she hated. A heat is sent straight to her core at the sight of him.

He gets on top of her and his kisses sloppy. He tries to turn her around, to make the moment mean less she imagines. She doesn’t let him though, Instead she remains planted on her back grabbing his face to slow him down and truly look at him. 

Everything from the evening and especially the spell the attorney has cast on her must cause her to lose her mind as she soothingly repeats her earlier words “You deserve to be loved John.”

His eyes widen in disbelief but she just kisses him deep and slowly trying to force him to believe her words with her mouth.

Keeping it fast and dirty would make it less intimate, cause less heartbreak. But she’s always been stubborn and a bit reckless. She wants to make him be gentle, can’t imagine he’s ever made love before, wants to be his first. That thought should really concern her more than it does.

***

John stares up at the ceiling, Rooks warm and comforting body tempting to lull him to sleep. He can't though, not with all the thoughts running through his head. 

What just happened between them left him in a panic. He didn't even know sex could be like that. Of course he's had plenty of good sex, but that, that was phenomenal. It almost...it almost felt like she cared about him and he for her. Which was too much for him, the idea of giving her that power left him downright scared.

He wanted, no needed her to be right. That these feelings for her were simply just because he couldn't have her. 

She was wrong though, he had chased women around much longer, hell Joey turned him down for over a year before he finally got her to say yes. 

No this was different, it had only been a few months and he found himself telling her things, caring about her, trusting her. That last thought left a heavy sinking feeling in his stomach. 

John has never trusted many people, only his brothers. And that left him in bum fuck Montana nearly losing his license to practice law. 

Rook turns towards him and he stills, thinking she might wake to see him in this moment of crisis. She doesn't wake though, only moves closer to him a hand falling across his chest as her body snuggles into his side. Her thick, dark hair tickling against his skin in a pleasant way.

She shivers when her movements cause the blankets to fall off her shoulders. As if second nature he pulls the blanket back up and runs his hand over her back to warm her. 

The contented sigh that escapes her sends a warm sensation to his chest which is immediately followed by an icy dread. 

This woman would be the end of him, yet he couldn't regret what happened tonight. 

For the second time in less twenty four hours John Seed finds himself completely terrified by the woman next to him. This time though it doesn't seem so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Years yall!! If you want to talk about this or anything else about FC5 you can find me on Tumblr at hopecountylovin


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